Thursday, December 22, 2011

I'm alive!

There have been rumors circulating that i have been abducted by aliens. I'm here to inform you that those rumors are simply NOT TRUE.

I was NOT abducted. It was an exchange program! I went with three others to be exposed to the cultures of various alien species from several galaxies. Unfortunately out of the three I was the only one who returned unscathed....the others could not handle all the weirdness. I did managed to purchase a lightsaber as a souvenir though.

Also, if you believe the story above, then you are weirder than me.


Ok, back to the mundane things now.

STPM is over, I'm here, alive. Somewhat. It wasn't quick, certainly not easy, and sadly not painless. But it's over.

What's going on now?

A whole lot of concerned people are asking me what's next....which is sweet of them but it's also getting really tiresome. I think I should hang a signboard around my neck or something.

Right now, I am on holiday, and I don't really want to speculate the future. I'm not clueless about it, but neither do I want to just bounce off to it. I think I want some time off to think. But when I'm in a more talkative mood, I'll post something here.

But for those who are just DYING from curiosity, here is my general holiday plans:

1. Christmas dinner
2. Clean room
3. Read
4. Write
5. Back to the piano stool
6. Work
7. Check out universities
8. Exercise
9. Some tv

You see? It's very boring. What else do you think I'd do, go and fly with dragons or something? I might try shopping again, so that would be mildly entertaining. But I doubt it.

Happy holidays, and Blessed Christmas! Maybe if i have the time, I'd post something about it here. =)

In the meantime, be glad or be very afraid....for I am back. Muahahahaha.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Coney the Redominator - part 1

(This is something Shaphan - a friend of mine- and i came up with. I thought i put it up here to see how you'd enjoy it. Hopefully, we'd be able to crack our brains and continue this.)

Oh...which are his, and which are mine? haha...figure that out yourself!

It was a cold night. Little rain droplets falling slowy giving a slight shower overhead like that of sprinklers in the garden. Besides the brawling of the stray cats in the backyard, nothing would have interupted the serenity and tranquility of the night.

Little Coney was lying cuddled up in the warmth of his Avatar comforter. Wide-eyed, he was aspiring to be many things. A writer. A prodigy pianist. Or something more. Something desired by most of the pathethic entities in the world. World domination.......

..................had already been accomplished by the great Bluepaw, a pure white hare with a blue right paw. The green and blue world known as Earth was theirs; there was no world that the rabbits and their cousins did not dominate. Little Coney sighed and snuggled back into his comforter. Perhaps he can be an Explorer instead of a Conquerer. Maybe there are other worlds out there...

Suddenly, a flash of white light shone into his eyes. Startled, he sprang up, his ears erect, his nose quivering. He saw a figure right outside his burrow. Our brave hero shook of his comforter and ran to face it. Wonder of wonders, it was Bluepaw the Dominator.

Coney lay himself so flat that the tips of his ears touched the ground. ‘G..greeting, my liege”

“No fear, my little Coney,” laughed Bluepaw. “I am not longer thy liege. I have passed to the happy carrot ground”

“You’re a ghost!?” gasped Coney, and trembled despite himself.

“That is for you decide. But I mean thee no harm. I have only a special task for thee.”

“Me?” squeaked Coney.

“Yes, thee! Cease thy pointless questionings. This floating-in-the-air act takes a great amount of strength. I do not have much time. Our world,” she said gravely, “is overrun. Our dominion here on earth is threatened.”

“But I thought we lived in peace and prosperity.”

“No longer. The humans no longer serve us. They have fallen to other creatures: cats and hamsters and parrots and dogs! They no longer pamper us. We are no longer their Pets. Pah! I am disgusted by them. Serving smelly dogs! A disgrace! You must stop this. We must become their Pets once again!”

“What shall I do?”

“Leave thy burrow and go forth into the world. Thou shalt face thy destiny.”

“But what is my destiny?”

“Re-dominate Earth!” So saying this, she vanished. And Little Coney’s destiny was destined: He was now Coney the Re-dominator.

The sun was high when Coney ……(to be continued)

Monday, July 25, 2011

First Impressions

It was the first day of school. A simple, plain-looking bespectacled girl peered into a classroom full of noisy students. Widening her eyes, she quickly whipped out of sight and leaned against the wall, wincing in trepidation, as if the sight of her peers were not quite to her liking. After a few moments, she nervously entered her new classroom and sat in a far corner, fiddling around with the straps on her bag to avoid looking at the other students in class. She was annoyed at the strangeness of everything, of having to be alone yet again, with no one to talk to. She was also apprehensive about having to make new friends all over again, just after one short year. Not to mention, having to somehow make friends with these people who probably had twice the amount of her IQ.

A few moments later, a hyperactive, bouncy (really, there’s no other word for it) boy in prefect uniform, er, bounced in. With a shock of thick black hair, and cheerful bright eyes, he had the look of someone who could be comfortable even in a hurricane. He surveyed the class eagerly, bellowed a greeting to some of his friends, and er, bounced (again) into an empty seat, directly in front of this girl, who was setting her eyes firmly on her book and deliberately avoiding all curious eyes, including (and especially) this purple blur staring down at her.

“Hello!” he grinned at her, positively delighted.

What kind of fellow addresses a stranger? She raised an eyebrow and stared at him, but made no reply.

“Are you new here?” he asked, flashing his set of gleaming white teeth, which complemented his sparkling eyes.

Her eyebrows were raised even higher; after a pause, she nodded silently.

“Cool!” was his reply, as if that was the best thing he ever heard, but he was beginning to raise his eyebrows too. Silence made him uncomfortable.

“Well erm, what are you reading? Is that a book?” Obviously it is, he thought to himself. What a question.

Obviously it is, she thought as she pressed her lips together. Was he making fun of her? What kind of question is that? Nevertheless, she consented to show him the title. He peered at it for a moment.

“That’s nice. What’s your name? I haven’t seen you before. What class were you from last year?”

She sighed. Here goes everything.

“I’m ____, from 1 Melur last year. Afternoon session.”

Go ahead, she thought dryly. Laugh. Think me an idiot, you brilliant have-Einstein’s-IQ- people.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. No wonder she’s so quiet. He hitched his grin back on his face to welcome her. “Well, hi! I’m ___. Looks like I’ll be sitting in front of you this year. You don’t mind, right?”

Surprised at the lack of any form of disapproval, she frowned heavily at him with suspicion. You’re so tall, isn’t it obvious you’ll be blocking my view? But she managed to shake her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Alright, cool! Er….well, have a great day!” he said as he stared at her oddly. Then he turned away to more friendly people. Stuck up, arrogant snob, he concluded.

She followed him with her eyes as he bounded away. She probably didn’t make a good impression. Ah well, she pressed her spectacles firmly against her nose and turned back to her book. What a talkative, insane boy.

Years later, they look back together and laugh, because they became best of friends.

This is to the talkative, insane, brilliant boy. I’m glad my first impression didn’t stop you.

Many happy returns, God bless =)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Nerds of the World Unite!

I am an absolute nerd you see,
highly disciplined and never lazy.
Will never forget to study a chapter a day,
Heaven forbid I skip, I'll always find a way.
Ever and anon you'll hear my war cry,
"I am a nerd! A full-fledged nerd am I!"
I am a nerd 'till the day I die,
will get my As, my exam colours fly.

Self motivation, indeed. =.=

Monday, June 13, 2011

Undesired desire

Don’t leave me don’t go, I say
Even so, I push you away shove you out…hard.
No; out you go, never again, out and
don’t ever come back…ever.

But wait, stop, I clutch you
come back, come back…just awhile more.
Then you can leave, I’ll let you
No I’ll make you…right Now.

Please? I beg. Please?
Let’s have him, oh please once…again.
Let us let him linger a little longer
I want you oh the ache it hurts…so bad.

No. Never.


You can’t. No. Get out, leave
me alone, just leave now go away…I hate you.
Look at what you’ve done this is your fault, look
what you’ve done what you’re doing…to me!

and yet
come please stay…a little longer.
One last time, stay and wait
Forever and forever…with me.

No no no you don’t! Can’t!
You destroy me it’s killing me…Leave!
“How can I?” you finally laugh a reply
“You made me, I am forever…in your mind.”

note: Just an idea i'm playing around with. I am not schizo. Psycho..maybe. Corny title...unfortunate

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Art thou afeared?

Art thou afeared?
Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
The clouds methought would open and show riches
Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,
I cried to dream again.

~Caliban, The Tempest, Shakespeare

"It's such a sad thought!" - Lionel Logue, The King's Speech

Yes, I've finally watched it. Amazing. =)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Remorseful Sadist

I had mentioned something about a rat dissection before. Someone did record the whole thing actually, and I do have the video. Unfortunately, my bio teacher made us promise that we would not put it up online until we have finished our STPM, which would be in let me see…171 days time!!???

So you have to bear my description instead. My confession will be concise.

Rat dissection – our initiation to the world of medicine, I suppose. It’s very easy really – we are to dissect a rat (two students to a rat), and just have a good look at the insides. Oh yes, and draw certain organs and systems. But here is the irony – we did not look at our rats to draw. We simply traced out a standard picture taken from the internet. Our rats died in vain….heh.

For some strange reason, bio classes are overpopulated with girls. This in turn causes a problem – too many girls who refuse to touch a rat. Girls who were squeamish fought to have a boy as a partner (oh you lucky males), or a girl who was not so freaked over rodents. Yours truly was the not-so-squeamish, so my partner was very free…she was the one that took the video. Not of me dissecting though, thank goodness.

Executing the rats reminded me of the Holocaust. They were placed in a large glass jar – about ten or so – and cotton soaked in chloroform was dropped in. With the jar being transparent (duh), we had the privilege of witnessing the rats dying. It was not painless and it was certainly not very quick either. We were all much freaked that halfway during the “operation”, they would wake up, so we put in lots of cotton, and we left them there for a long time…piled up on one another, scrabbling, scratching each other, jumping and sliding against the smooth walls, dying…until their fur was soaked in chloroform.

Was that too much for you?

After our teacher demonstrated with a rat (which horror upon horrors, was a PREGNANT rat @.@) , it was our turn.

I eagerly fished out a rat by the tail, pinned it to the board, and hacked it open with a scalpel, and bellowed a MUAHAHAHAHAHAA…..

No lah. Of course not. In fact I was having a very hard time picking a rat because I wanted a male, so that I know I’d never dissect a PREGNANT rat. Of course none of us knew how to differentiate between male and female rats, so in the end I chose a thin one that (hopefully) was not pregnant. Then I had a very hard time poking a pin through its paw. You are supposed to do that to all FOUR limbs so that the body does not move. For some strange reason it reminded me of the Crucifixion.

Although I was not squeamish, I am no sadist either. Ok, I admit it, my hand was shaking when I was holding the pin. I think I took five minutes for the first paw…because it just seems so…wretched. Cruel.

But once the first paw was pierced, I got on fine. Snip, snip, snip, pin, pin, pin. We took a good look at everything…and yes, it was NOT pregnant. Yay.

And now for the real horror: what we did after.

Me – ok la, I did a few awful things as well….I pull out the intestines just to see how long they were. They were very very VERY long. I also took a look at its teeth (which needed some Colgate, stat). But that was all. I packed it all in nicely back as well as I could, and then wrapped it very neatly in paper.

The rest of my mates, once they got over their squeamish feelings…well, some chopped of the head, someone pulled out the intestines too…but instead of going “oh wow, very long”…he/she started making it lay out around the rat…just to see how long was in proportion to it. Others weren’t paying attention to our teacher and dissected the head instead and looked at the brains instead of the digestive system.

The worst (best?) was this: He skinned the whole rat. Oh yes he did, and he did it very well for a first timer (or is he a beginner??? Hmm). EVERYTHING came off in a nice fur mat…including the little cute ears. I couldn’t help admiring his handiwork. That would be one cool handphone case. Oh no, did I just say that?

The worst (best?) part: he said “Teacher, can I preserve this and take home??”

=____=||| Bio students no life la.

What happened to the rats in the end? We are to wrap them and toss them into a huge garbage bag. I doubt everyone wrapped theirs though. I think they just threw them in. I, on the other hand, thought we would be able to bury them in the school field. Wouldn’t that be some way of expressing remorse? The field would become a cemetery for rats and at night their spirits would come back and haunt the school (which would freak all the scouts out HAHA!).

So yep. That’s all. We were supposed to do it again to study the respiratory system, but our class was very soft-hearted and told our teacher (who was very soft-hearted as well), that since we have used our first rats to the fullest capacity (we checked out every system the body could possibly have), why waste? So we were off the hook. They felt like saints.

I was thinking that, those rats were probably raised in captivity, were fed on processed food and kept in cramped spaces, to be sold off to us students. Even if we didn’t buy them, they would have been bought by others. What difference did we make? Their suffering shall persist, from generation to generation.


And that was my report on rat dissection. Videos and pictures would come AFTER I leave school.

Too bad.

Holiday now, and apart from taking a break I hope to clear up some things, write something, read something and study SOMETHING.....IF that happens. It MUST!

Happy hols to those who have those with summer hols...i envy you.....=)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

AI results highlight

Sorry. I had to put this up! AI results show yesterday. Contestants met some famous director (so famous i dunno his name=.=) Talked to them about the importance of music in movies.

This is paraphrased as i can't remember all he said. I hope i got his crazy lyrics right though.

Director: Music makes movies iconic. Some movies are remembered because of the music. Like Chariots of Fire. In fact, it would have been a greater hit if they used the words i wrote for the song...

Then he started la.

(i dare you to sing it out loud...just follow the soundtrack-u all should know the CoF soundtrack right? who doesn't???)

We're running on the seashore
We're running on the sand
We're running in circles
There's sand in our toes

And there goes the Jewish guy in front
and there goes the Christian guy behind
I wonder who's gonna win this time
It's gonna be close

I haven't laughed so hard for so long. I suppose some might find it offensive...and i don't mean it to be, but that was HILARIOUS!

Really, really glad i watched AI. It brightened me day.

So yeah. Work now.

This is my chorus! (made it up while chatting with a friend)

And there goes my math and chemistry
down to the drain along with me
i cannot believe I'm so crazy
well what can i say..

Yesh. I'm weird that way.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Pill and Other Drugs....

A new movie is out - Limitless. Something abt this down-and-out dude who looks like a wreck who then decides to take this PILL and *poof!* Super smart, super efficient, super good looking fella replaces the loser. Yeah, you get the picture.

I haven't seen it yet, but it is an interesting story. Not a new one, but intriguing all the same. Who doesn't want a pill to boost our miserable mundane lives once in a while eh? Who doesn't a pill that solves (or so it'd seem) all problems? This isn't a new desire or craze. It's been here for awhile.

I read an article on students who took drugs - not to have a party "high" - but to study. Yep. Drugs provide you a boost and helps you stay energized all you can study all night through and actually feel pretty good the next day.

What would i do if i somehow came across this Pill? Everyone knows the Dark Side to it. tempting.

Of course i am NOT promoting drugs. Don't do drugs! But it's an appealing idea, especially now with all my work to cover that either ends up making me feel a) exhausted, or b) stupid.

Who doesn't want to have more brains? Or to be more accurate, the ability to use all of our brain capacity? Imagine the things we can do. That i can do. For one, no more homework piling up. No more trouble studying. No more problems in picking up new things. No more mental "blankness". Superbrain. Superhuman. Perfection.


Like i said, tempting.

Come to think of it, this in a way happened in the garden of Eden too, no? "Eat the fruit and your eyes will be open...become like God" (this is paraphrased). It's very easy for us who are sitting comfortably on our couches with the Bible on our laps to say "Noooooooooooo Eve!! Don't do it!" But if you think about it, you can see how tempting it is.

Fruit, Pill, whatever. They're all the same, aren't they? It all comes to the same end.

I'm up to my eyeballs with work, but I really don't feel enthusiastic about doing it. In fact, I feel like going far far away to sleep for a long long time. Somewhere around...FOREVER. ><

Life is pressurizing. Everyone wants me to be somebody, to do this, to change that, to improve this, to attend that, blablabla. Ironically, though we all admit that we are imperfect humans, some can't seem to see that i am human too. I'm not perfect. Striving to be, yes, but definitely not there yet.

The idea of the Pill is very very appealing to me. No more mistakes. No more goof-ups and wrong decisions. No more failures.

Man, who DOESN'T want that?

Nothing tastes better than genius.

However, in the end, I better stay away from this dangerous dream. And stick with coffee. Yes, gud ol' three-in-one is the safest bet.

They say it's a mild drug though. Dang.

MUET was........i dunno. Initially i thought it wasn't too bad. Now i think I didn't answer the essay question correctly.....let's not contemplate the reading and listening too eh?

I was supposed to get to my math as soon as i came back, but i think i was so overwhelmed with the amount of "england" that i watched a chinese movie (nt7)...then a Tamil (i kid you not) movie. Thank goodness the Tamil movie was already three quarters done, or i would have wasted more time.

Speaking....guess what? One of the examiner was actually my friend's MOM. =.= And i didn't know!!! And she knew!!! Horror upon horrors.................

I was actually LOOKING at her the whole time during the first part (presentation). She said i was good. I think she was just being nice.

I hope for the best, but i'm afraid i have to be realistic too. Sigh.

I wanna watch Limitless! and Source Code! and...The King's Speech! But i guess i won't be able to.

Just. TOO. Much. To. Do. Just. TOO. darn. lazy.

I shall try to tell u (soon, hopefully) the memorable moment of every f6 bio students life - skinning a rat.

Oops, no, that's what my fren did. I didn't do that. I just took out the entrails.


that didn't help, did it?

Rat dissection report next. IF POSSIBLE. =_=

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Stepping Westward

While my Fellow-traveller and I were walking by the side of Loch Ketterine, one fine evening after sun-set, in our road to a Hut where in the course of our Tour we had been hospitably entertained some weeks before, we met, in one of the loneliest parts of that solitary region, two well-dressed Women, one of whom said to us, by way of greeting, 'What you are stepping westward?'

"What, you are stepping westward?" -- "Yea."
'Twould be a wildish destiny
If we who thus together roam
In a strange land and far from home,
Were in this place the guests of Chance :
Yet who would stop, or fear to advance,
Though home or shelter he had none,
With such a sky to lead him on ?

The dewy ground was dark and cold ;
Behind, all gloomy to behold ;
And stepping westward seemed to be
A kind of heavenly destiny :
I liked the greeting ; 'twas a sound
Of something without place or bound ;
And seemed to give me spiritual right
To travel through that region bright.

The voice was soft, and she who spake
Was walking by her native lake :
The salutation had to me
The very sound of courtesy :
Its power was felt ; and while my eye
Was fixed upon the glowing Sky,
The echo of the voice enwrought
A human sweetness with the thought
Of travelling through the world that lay
Before me in my endless way.

-William Wordsworth

Read this while waiting for my turn for MUET speaking test. Yea, we had quite a bit of time on our hands. Managed to rummage around the school library and find some interesting reads. Now i just need to find a way to borrow them without having to pay 5 ringgit for the card. Yes, RM5. How does that promote reading i have no idea. SBM was RM 0.50, I kid you not. In fact, becuz it was so cheap, my brother and I bought multiple cards...anyway.

Speaking was....||=.=I fumbled during the 2 min presentation. Group discussion wasn't too bad, but i felt i should've talked more.

I have a feeling I would really like Wordsworth. He has such a fitting name in the first place. And I like the way he picked up a simple line and turned it into something profound.

Other (very old) news: Dianne Wynne Jones passed away. Sigh. I love her books, though I never read them all. I like that they were nice and short, the kind that i can finish in a day.

Did you know that she studied under C.S Lewis and Tolkien????? O.o So cool.

Oh, funny stuff during MUET. The night before, I had this weird dream: i was sitting for the test, and the question was something like this (if my memory serves me correctly):

Explain why the scrugifluous membranic hypothermia is the most essential component for the griminological something something .... state your reasons according to the graph below.

The graph has a bunch of squiggly lines criss-crossing one another. I couldn't see what it was, but i knew it was COMPLICATED.

I had a panic attack. Then i woke up and after a minute i realised i haven't sat for the test, and there's no graphs in the test, and there's no such thing as "scrugifluous membranic hypothermia" anyway.

Well. At least my real speaking test wasn't as bad as that.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Battle of the bands

MUET…man, I don’t know why I’m so obsessed about it. I think it’s because everyone expects me to do well. I want to do well myself….because I think, I hope, with a crazy, insane ferventness, that I can.

*taps fingers nervously*

I really, really want this badly. Not that it’ll define who I am (I know it won’t), but still…this is one triumph I want to taste. I’ve been having so many downs lately, I want this boost. But will it happen?

PLEASE don’t tell me that it will be a breeze; that will just stress me to death!

Other updates? has been quite a ride of late. I'm not sure where to begin. Suffice it to say that i am at a place where i'm clawing, fighting and struggling to be what i am suppose to be. I'm focusing on getting back in order, my life has been quite a whirlwind lately.

Right now though, I'm feeling rather smug. I'm so happy to be a Mewahan that i don't care if that sounds lame!

I saw you guys marching i love the marching season. You are really awesome!
I heard some interesting stories at my f6 scul today...and i love my sbm prefects. * secret*
I saw Cik Zalilah's FB status....and i laughed out loud during assembly today. dun wanna know why. *smirks*

And i saw that ridiculous, waste-of-money humongous letters spelling out SMK BM glinting in the sun (everyone at sbm would know it) and i just felt....that's my school- ridiculous, impractical, insane, imperfect but just so....right.

After all, it's the insane who dream the impossible. And we have achieved a fair share of the impossible.

Oh wow. What did i just write? WEIRD la me.

Great, now all the Paulians are going to stone me.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Failure! failure!

"Failure! Failure!" cried David. "Every bar of my music cried, 'Failure'. It shrieked from the violins, blared from the trombones, thundered from the drums. It was written in all the faces -....What of my soul? False to its own music, its own mission, it's own dream. That is what I mean by failure, Vera.......oh how my music mocked me! And you, so fearless, so high above all that has come to pass, how you must despise me, despise me!"

~The Melting Pot, Israel Zangwill
(retold from the play by permission of The Macmillan Company)

Read this short story a long time ago. But the way he described failure...amazing. Everytime I fail in something, these lines start ringing in my ears.

BTW, this story is awesome too. If you can find it, read it.


Saturday, February 19, 2011

canyons grand

Take me somewhere far away
far away, where the nights are long
No it won't be a short stay
I want to hear the eagles call
Where the shinning stars fly like dust
the yawning void of darkness is there
Gone are the people I refuse to trust
no one to please, none to care

Just take me somewhere far away
I need no wisdom, I want no pain
Grief and anger be blown away
Nothing to lose, no more to gain
Just let me lie on the blood red sand
smell the breeze in the dusty air
There's naught left in me to stand
responsibility be hanged, duty be damned.

Friday, February 4, 2011

to the genius on his birthday

I still remember the day you said you felt “horny”.

I don’t quite remember what you really wanted to say. I think you meant to say that you were inspired? Motivated? Well, “berahi” is a strong motivation. Yes indeed.

It was one of those moments that would go down in history. Oh the awkwardness, oh the humiliation!


Happy birthday to our Resident Genius, Clement Kwan! =)

Thanks for being the conscience of our gang. Thanks for insisting on teaching those who want to copy your work instead of just handing them your book. Thanks for glaring and punching our friends hard when they exclaim an expletive.

Thanks for being supportive over the things we are passionate about. Thanks for bumming with us when we fail and for coaxing us back to life (we must’ve been a real pain sitting beside you).

Thanks for those random moments…shutting my book when I’m studying and calling US nerds when YOU are the one memorizing bio facts (speaking of bio…remember HER?). Thanks for the times we discussed episodes of Criminal Minds and other random, ridiculous topics. Oh and for the AWESOME essays!

Thanks for following your heart and choosing music as a career despite the raised eyebrows and cynical words.

Most of all, thanks for showing me the difference between geniuses and smart alecks. I’ve met a few smart alecks before and I really wish I can drag them to you so that you can give them a piece of your mind, Naruto-style.

Smart alecks are annoying, stuck-up and think that everything is a scientific equation. They may have brains, but they lack wisdom. Severely. They need a good kick in the pants.

Geniuses inspire.

There’s no need for further elaboration.

May you continue to be a blessing and inspiration, Resident Genius!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Can I help you?

Sitting next to him made her nervous.

It didn’t matter that they were both on opposite ends of the bus stop. He has a wild, unkempt look that made her sit at the edge of the seat, alert and aware. She couldn’t help keeping both eyes subtly on him, watching and observing his slumped form. His clothes seemed of good-quality, but were washed out and soaked in rainwater, smeared by mud and torn – because of a brawl in the rain? Or because of a fall?

But it was his face that held her attention. It was etched with some strong emotion, could it be grief, fear, anger, even despair? It was impossible to single out a clear feeling. Perhaps it was a mixture of all of them, for there was agony in his eyes as he stared blankly into the rain. His jaw was clenched, and he looked from the dark sky to his empty hands as if praying for a miracle to fall into them.

She shook her head slightly. Her imagination was getting away from her. Whatever that was in his eyes must be from one drink too many. In everyone’s eyes, he is nothing but a drunken beggar. She smoothed the folds of her crisp, well-ironed black skirt and checked her watch. The rain continued to pour. She went back to her book, but her thoughts were on him. After a while she sighed to herself. Whatever he looked like, he was wet and miserable. That was undeniable. Would he get sick? Can he afford medicine? Would he be ok? She grimaced. You are not his mother! She chided. Mind your own business!

A car stopped in front of her, distracting her from her conflicting thoughts. She rose up as the window of the car rolled down. Out of the corner of her, she noticed the man shifting his gaze towards her.

“Thanks so much for your umbrella! Did you wait long? You wouldn’t believe how many of us at the office didn’t bring umbrellas.”

“No problem,” she smiled, groaning inwardly was she wondered whether the cheap umbrella survived more than half an hour of the pounding rain.

“See you Monday.”

The window rolled up and she raised a hand as it disappeared into the rain. She glanced down at her umbrella and winced when she saw at the cracked handle. Rolling her eyes, she turned back to gather her things and found the man with his face in his hands, a soft moan from his lips.

She stared at him.

Don’t bother…don’t talk to strangers…mind your own business…he’s up to no good…walk away! Her brain screamed at her the advice she heard her whole life.

You believe too much in people for your own good. Her mother’s words came sharply into her mind.

And yet…

Sensing her stare, he turned to look up at her. For one long moment, they stared at one another.

Then she took a breath and stepped forward.

He blinked.

She took another breath, held out her umbrella and asked him the question.


Bright sunlight hit her face, waking her. She groaned and turned over. She hurt everywhere. She sat up on the bed and stretched. Ow! She thought to herself as she heard her bones protest. Her eyes widened at the mess strewn on the floor – her shoes flung far from each other, her work clothes lay crumpled in a corner. She put her hand up to her hair and moaned when she felt the hair pins she forgot to pull out. This was going to be a painful morning.

She hugged around her arms around her knees, stared at the window and remembered all that had happened. Tears fell as she saw the thin faces of his daughters, pinched and worn by hunger. Her heart ached when she remembered the look on his wife’s face. She couldn’t hold back her sobs when she realized how blessed she was.

She looked up again with a smile spreading across her face. Her feet were blistered by running around town the whole of yesterday, but it was worth every minute. The joy that came after made every minute of the tiring day precious.

He found a job, finally. The smile on their faces was the miracle that she knew he needed. His family didn’t need to wonder how and when the next meal would come anymore. He didn’t have to beg any longer. He didn’t have to feel worthless, a failure. The anguish that was in his eyes had disappeared.

She slid off the bed onto her knees, a prayer of thanksgiving in her heart. Thank You, Lord.

Thank You, for urging me to take the chance. For opening my mouth. For asking the question:

Can I help you?

~was thinking about the commonwealth essay competition...and also remembering a man's face i saw during christmas. This is rather predictable though. Hopefully it's not too long or tedious for you to read =)

Friday, January 7, 2011

it felt like a month.....

but it was only a week.

and this is just the beginning.

potatoes and telmarines. =.=