The Dysfunctional Pilgrim

Right now, if I picture my self, it's like my army is preparing for war. I can smell the hot acrid smell of metal as arrowheads are forged, the smoke that rises from the blacksmith fires, horses in the stable, dusty parchments as maps are taken out and strategies debated. And there's the clanking of swords and armor, the rattle of spears, the neighing of restless horses, commands and orders shouted across the fort, men's quiet discussions about the coming battle..... War. We're off to war. And there's no turning back. The ultimate question that resounds in my mind now is: have I done enough?? 21 more days and counting.......

i don't.............understand why are you hurt? what have i done? what have i said? please tell me i know you're hurt and i know i'm at fault but how? how? i don't know how i did it..... confused, upset cut to the core... why has my sunny world turned gray? i'm heartbroken trying my best to be God's best to love, to hope, to keep the smile on my face but pain....oh the pain.. tell me why do i cry these tears for you? what have i done? for i, i don't know.. never felt this sore... will i be scarred for life? one thing i'm sure of i'll never heal until i know..