Sunday, May 14, 2017


It seems like every fortnight there is a new trend sweeping the classroom. First it was the dab, then it was bottle-flipping - I'm someone who's sensitive to sound, and the consistent but sudden smack of plastic crunching the floor tiles nearly drove me insane. Then there was that "yee" video, I have yet to be enlightened on what the joke is. I do not wish to be enlightened. I would prefer styaing in the suffering of ignorance.

Somehow it moved on to rubics cubes (we're still going through that phase), and fidget spinners, fidget cubes, and now, for some ungodly reason, the librarians thought it'd be educational to sell 'slime' to the students, which of course led to the class flipping their slime, mixing it with more water to make sickly wet slime, spinning, looping it around like professional Italian pasta makers, trying to make their own prata bread and other creative functions.

The problem with all these new distractions and trends that students go crazy with is this. Yes, it's a distraction to them and to the class. Sure.

But how inconsiderate of you.

Do you not realise I, your teacher, want to join the fun?

I want to play with the slime.

The fascinating thing that you may not know about teachers is, we are, as someone had once said before in a book I've read, "students with the cap on backwards." Meaning, we are you. We're fascinated by new things. Okay maybe not "we". It's probably just me. I don't have my life put together very well and am nowhere near being a responsible teacher, determined to get the class through a lesson.

Additionally, I am a person who is, unfortunately, very attracted to these new fiddly things. I am easily distracted too.

I realised how teaching is probably an awful occupation for me, when I confiscated one of the students' slime. It was very well-done - the elasticity, the texture, the colour, the craftsmanship was perfect.

Guess what I was doing for the next five minutes while explaining something or other, I don't remember anymore, to the class.

I was poking the slime.

Yeah me, the teacher, the one in charge of the class, was minutely fiddling with the thing that was a distraction.

Of course, minute actions are always the ones caught by students. This particular student called me out.

"Miss, why are you touching MY slime?"

Good question. I could only raise my hands and make a face.

"Miss, can't we just play with our slime all day?"

Yes. No. I mean, no.

Youth are fascinated by the world, I guess. Teachers are supposed to show students the world, but in a more, organised way.

Alas, I'm not organised.

Last week I was holding everyone's fidget spinners and asking about them - what are they for, what do you do with them, how many do you have, how do they work, OH wait crap, no, wait, I'm supposed to give homework and put that away guys, put it away.


During library period, I started playing Google Feud with them for a bit before I remembered they were supposed to be reading.

Double crap.

I may be 25 and your teacher, but that doesn't make me any less curious about the new things the world offers.

Perhaps I should go be a hermit after this year ends.