This is what I wrote for my English exam-have fun!
English essay -Finals
Question (b) – School life is full of fun. Do you agree?
6.00 a.m. My alarm clock rang. I let out a moan, and pushed the accursed thing off my bedside table. It fell on the floor with a crash loud enough to wake the dead, but I went back to Dreamland.
6.30 a.m. Woke up to my mother’s insistent shaking. Thought there was an earthquake and yelled. Glanced at the somewhat broken alarm clock and screamed. I-AM-LATE!!!
7.01 a.m. Flew to school faster than the fastest jet in the world. Was late to report for prefect duty by one stinking minute. Drat. Mr. Head Prefect was in the prefect room and he raised his eyebrows at my entrance. Double drat. I couldn’t give him an excuse because I was panting hard and even if I wasn’t I had no excuse anyway. So I nodded and dashed off to my classroom.
7.15 a.m. I told a girl off for not pinning up her hair and she gave me a glare that made my insides churn. I held my ground, or at least I hope I did. Sigh. Days like this make me want to resign from prefect duty.
7.35 a.m. Two agonizing periods of Additional Mathematics. Add Math teacher marched in and gave us and inspiring lecture n how dumb we were. I loved the way he pronounced “dumb”. It was as if he put every inch of loathing into that word. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I couldn’t stop saying it. Dumb. I turned to Stephen. We caught each other’s eye and together we said it at the same time: Dumb. And then we cracked up, right in the middle of his lecture. How dumb of us.
8.45 a.m. English. We all had to rush off as fast as we could in our heavy bags to another class because we were, and still are, a floating class. We crashed right smack-dab into the students who were coming out. Took us about ten minutes to get a seat. English teacher was great, though it was hard for her to bring her lessons across when every idiot in class was interrupting her. Naïve and idiotic questions were flying left, right and center. Finally, when she smacked her head in frustration, the boy who was making he most noise turned to everyone and shouted, “Eh, shut up! Teacher’s trying to teach!” I have decided that I will never be an English teacher.
Recess. I brooded on the unfairness and the torture I had to go through. Watching all those students slurping up their noodles and smacking their lips, while I had to stand and carry out my prefect duty, was more than I can bear. Finally, when it was all over, I rushed off to the food counter to grab a bite and promptly lost my apatite and possibly, my breakfast. Went back to the circle of prefects who were chatting. Caroline was complaining to Mr. Head Prefect on how his class was the worst she had ever encountered. He nodded and said nothing, but looked like he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes and cry “Why God, why?”
Chee Jong was trying to talk Ara out of eating the fried fish balls he had bought. He squeezed them into pulp and cried, “See? See? Look at all that oil!!” I think Chee Jong would be a great politician. Imagine him trying to prove Anwar guilty of sodomy. Imagine what he’ll be squeezing. Praveen didn’t feel like going back to class for Physics, and I nearly followed suit when Ara, waving his fish balls, or fish pulp, snarled, “You-are-a-prefect!”
11.00 a.m. Physics. Teacher was trying to explain, above the noise our class was making, about light and reflection. She was explaining a so-and-so’s law about mirrors. The genius, Clement, was asking, “How can there be an inside of the mirror?” Shakilan was screaming, “How can there be an outside reflection when the reflection is inside the mirror?!” Chee Jong was pounding his head and chewing Ara at the same time, don’t ask me how. Carolyn was saying, “Don’t chew the doll!” , meaning Ara. I was wondering what would happen if my reflection and my real self were to get mixed up. James and Stephen were playing a game of catch with ping-pong balls and filter funnels. The boys at the back were playing pool. Teacher looked on the verge of tears.
12.10 p.m. Mathematics. Math teacher slammed down her books and began shrieking at the top her voice about something. I think it was about a boy joining our class. Anyway, she kept going on and on and on and I thought she will never stop. But she did, and said that she will never mention the subject again. 5 minutes later, she started spewing out more. I was shaking with suppressed laughter. James was asleep. Stephen looked about to do the same.
1.20 p.m. Malay. I was already cackling with glee at the funny way our Malay teacher’s hair moves. It jerks here and there, like a chicken sticking its head out. Chee Jong turned around and said. “ Do you know that when he raises hi arms, you can look right through his sleeve and see his armpit hair?” I collapsed with laughter.
1.55 p.m. All of us were packing up and leaving for home. Clement and Kee Wen were having a hot debate on singers David Cook and David Archuleta. Clement was saying that Archuleta’s hot and Cook’s not while Kee Wen was a opposing him in a more violent manner. Ara and I were discussing the thrilling events in the last Harry Potter book and Chee Jong was cracking dirty jokes with Shakilan, which I did my best to ignore. All of us gathered outside the school and started cracking jokes and giving snide remarks about everything and anything. I staggered into Mum’s car with a stitch in my side. Mum stared at me and asked how school was. I choked up my answer: Fun.
3.00 p.m. Had my lunch and my bath. Pulled out a very tattered looking piece of paper from my school bag. It was my English homework. The question was in bold letters.
“School life is full fun. Do you agree?”
I started laughing.
Author’s note: I hope you enjoyed that essay. To all my teachers, those of you who were mentioned in the essay were only because I happened to find you the most interesting out of all my teachers. I’m terribly sorry if I offended you in any way and I am now on bended knee, pleading with you to not take this essay seriously. To all my friends whom I have mentioned above, you shouldn’t be offended either. The reason I wrote above your (and my) crazy antics was because I love all of you and you guys a part of who I am. And for those who were not mentioned, you are extremely lucky as this proves that you are completely normal and I love you too. By the way, the little Anwar joke was not in any way, meant to insult the government or the nation. This is just a crazy, nutty, and completely mad student’s work.
Author’s afterthought: Phew, That’s a lot of apologies for one essay! Of course, please do not copy this off as your own work, okay? I’m may be off my rocker, but I take my essays and writings very seriously and put a lot of work into them. So please, honor the Writer’s Code: No copy n’ paste!
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