35900

I still know the address by heart, where
The days were long and nights longer
No matter the rush, I always had time
It was almost like I could create time

Back then 2am was ‘oh, still early’
There was no sleep and little rest
It was okay to starve and keep running
The constant chaos made sense

The stress that gnawed at me
At the same time fulfilled me
When I bled I knew I was alive
The exhausted thrill fed my drive

Now I live a half-life of half-places
Half-done dreams, half-begun plans
A Half-hearted life between adult and child
But a rudder that chooses neither left nor right is a useless one

Maybe it’s because kid-me
Didn’t imagine a year beyond 24
I’ve lost my way
Because I’d never thought I’ll get this far

This uncharted terrain overwhelms me
So much so I’d rather the ship sank
And I go down with it.

Motivation - please find me again.
I say let's just move, one simple step at a time
But my head and my heart and body are split into different ideals

Making it to the end of each day
Is a blessing and a curse
I only know to keep moving
Even if I don’t know where is forward.