The Dysfunctional Pilgrim

A big question on my mind now......... Should I go NS? I know I already said I would, but something has made me begin to think twice now. It's my foot infection. And it's bad. Whenever I wet my feet, they itch then swell and pus and all the disgusting stuff you do not need to know. They are hypotonic, or is it hypertonic? I still mix those two up...haiz. Anyway. > Rats. I totally forgot about that. I guess I don't like to think about it. But I should remember cuz it always happens at prefect camp..only it's only for three days. This is three months...that's very different. What am I to do? Go for it regardless? Don't go? I do have a valid reason. My feet can get awful in a span of three months. But should I try despite it? Is this some sort of challenge by God? Am I being nuts? I probably won't go. It is that bad. I suppose I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. After all I said abt NS, this is how it turns out? What do you think? Cuz I'm not so sure ...

Yes, my blog is in a deplorable state. I humbly apologize. The thing is, I've been doing a lot of thinking this whole month. Just...taking a break from the world, I guess. It's difficult to explain; and i'm sorry if my 'reflective' state has bothered anyone...it was purely unintentional. I do have a few post that I do want to put up, and I would in time. For now I need to get my head together, and thus I ask for patience. Until then, my best wishes to all of you for the new year. =) i'm ok. don't worry.

Butterflies in my stomach for various reasons... Life's like that, isn't it? A riddle, a maze Unpredictable. The things I've gone through still seem alien, a stranger like a foreigner i wade through experiences in life, that i've gone thru so many times before. I'm scared, but i don't show it Confused, but still clear there's things in life that are still certain still true, still real. I'm in a whole new territory terrified? you betcha but i still smile even with the butterflies in my stomach... I'm nervous about dNA. And about life from now on. Haiz.

So SPM's over. Checking all my other friend's blogs, it's mostly lots of screamings and shouts of joy. And I too am happy too. But I dunno. I just don't really feel like screaming. After yelling a bit and high-fiving Clement, it was like, ok. Nothing left to do. I'm really, really glad it's done with though. And I'm soooo thankful for God's grace throughout the long long exam...everything came out quite...ok. Surprisingly. Now I have to speed-read 2 books for dNA!!!! ahhhhhhhhhh......haiz. But I really will enjoy myself this time..can't wait. So yeah you won't be seeing me for 10 days...sigh. But I'll be back. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!SPM OVER!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA...

BK is officially SAVED!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA Ok la sorry but it is really good news to all christian students out there. With the maximum number of spm subjects extended to 12, science stream students can take accounts, BK n Chinese too if they want to. So I really REALLY encourage all christian students to take this subjects. Is it easy? Well, no subject is easy. But Bible Knowledge (in case you dunno wat BK is) is easier than most as it is basically reading and rereading the two books Acts and Luke. And answering questions. I'd love it Bukit Mewah Christian students. especially those in f3 n f4 take up BK as an SPM subject. This is the one chance we have to stand up and say "Yes I am serious as a christian, that's why i take BK". This is one of the many ways we can make a statement throughout the country that there are students out there who believe in Jesus Christ our Saviour. I think that's why i took BK i think, eventhough i was the only one in my school this year....

Lets' destress......and melt, esp the girls haha.. Guy Sebastian's Perfection was written for his wife for their wedding methinks....so sweet...aww.. *Perfection* - Guy Sebastian Peter can you gather the angels all around I need everyone to get this down. . . This will not be easy coz what I'm asking for Is something we have never tried before (chorus) Let's make a girl, But not just any girl, She needs to be Perfect, Perfect. . . Add some Beautiful . . . Throw in some Divine She needs to define *Perfection* Don't forget the sugar..... Make it so she's sweet From her head to her feet . . . *Perfection* Go and get Picasso, he can paint her eyes Michelangelo can paint her smile . . . And when we're finally finished I want nothing less Than for all of us to stand here. . . Breathless (chorus) Let's make a girl, But not just any girl, She needs to be Perfect, Perfect. . . Add some Beautiful . . . Throw in some Divine She needs to define *Perfection* Don'...

Right now, if I picture my self, it's like my army is preparing for war. I can smell the hot acrid smell of metal as arrowheads are forged, the smoke that rises from the blacksmith fires, horses in the stable, dusty parchments as maps are taken out and strategies debated. And there's the clanking of swords and armor, the rattle of spears, the neighing of restless horses, commands and orders shouted across the fort, men's quiet discussions about the coming battle..... War. We're off to war. And there's no turning back. The ultimate question that resounds in my mind now is: have I done enough?? 21 more days and counting.......